stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize