Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
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