member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize