Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
