is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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