I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
