Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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