I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
