Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize