but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
