How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
