what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
