I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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