you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
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