I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Terrible idea I love it
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize