We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
