just survived the first fart of the relationship.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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