i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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