youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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