He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
3pm strippers are depressing
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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