I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
