well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
