none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
