She's JV to your varsity
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
