Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
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