Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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