I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
