sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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