we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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