Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
