If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
