you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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