Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
