Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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