I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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