She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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