Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
