There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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