I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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