I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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