I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
