there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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