Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize