Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm at about main and main street
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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