SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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