I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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