Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
