i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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