Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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