She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
