I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize