So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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