Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
