I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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