remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
