I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize