you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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