Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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