i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
