we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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