My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
