Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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