Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
