The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize