found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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