it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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