It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
