At least make sure they are 18
Why
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
