I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
