There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
