Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
