Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
